“Empty Out the Clutter of Your Mind”

“Same story, different day.” Living life with the same routines can be a comfortable way to manage your day, but what happens when you feel that you want more out of your life? Understanding that change needs to happen in many cases is not too hard to identify. Actually going through change is where the real work begins. Many of us, from time to time, will commit to doing something different the next time around. However, most become frustrated when they feel as though they really want to and know that they need to change, but don’t know why they can’t get the job done. One reason could be that they need to make room in their lives to let the change become part of their life.

In a way, it is a lot like cleaning out your garage. Imagine the sight you see when you first throw open the garage door and take a look at all the stuff that has been jammed in and piled all over the place. It can be overwhelming. Many items are simply “thrown in to the garage” just to get them out of the way. You can hardly see the floor through all the clutter. So you begin the task of emptying out the garage. Drag it all out into the driveway, sweep the floor, and then set out to put it all back. Carefully, you check out each item and find a place to put it. Nice, neat, organized. When you are done, you spend a few minutes to marvel at how good it looks. You feel good that you accomplished that time-consuming and challenging task.

But in reality, what have you really done? Moved boxes, shuffled things around, and tightly packed in all the stuff that was there in the first place. How many things did you put back that you have not used? Many of those items were probably given to you by someone else that you feel you need to hang onto because it was a gift. Other things are there because you feel that they have value and shouldn’t just be thrown out with the trash. So, in reality the only new thing that you accomplished was sweeping the floor.

Now, think of this analogy in another way. Imagine that your mind is the Garage. You have gathered so much emotional clutter throughout the years and stored it away. But how much of this is yours? Most of what we call “our” values are not truly our own. We live life according to what other people have chosen for us. Our parents, our governments, our schools and our religions (just to name a few) all offer strong ideas about living life. These beliefs and values should not be approved blindly. They should be carefully thought about before owning them as your own.

This mental clutter makes it impossible for you to see a clear path out of the Garage. You need to check things over and get rid of all the “junk” which has stalled your life. This could mean that you will need to let go of what was once considered valuable but has now become “overwhelming…” or “burdensome…” or even “a waste of time.” Think back to those items that you have in your real garage. How much is there because someone else gave it to you? How much is there because you believe it has value and shouldn’t just be thrown away? How much is there simply because you feel guilty about throwing it away? It may be hard to separate the dollar value from the sentimental value, but if your garage is already overloaded, wouldn’t it benefit you more by getting rid of those things that you never use? Think about all the space you would have. Think about what you could put into that space now that you have it.

Emptying out your mind and filling it with only those values and beliefs that you truly want for your own one of the first ways to helping you move your life in a different direction. It will help you understand why you may react a certain way in certain situations. Or it can help explain why you feel stuck at a certain Crossroad in your life. When you clean out your Garage, you can experience the joy of refilling it yourself. Keep the same neat and tidy appearance with a lot more room. This time you will fill it only with the things that are going to make you happy. This time you fill the Garage with the things you really want and choose for yourself. Nothing gets in without you knowing exactly what is it, precisely what it is worth, and why you need to own it in the first place.

Just imagine living your life this clutter free!

Ron Villano, M.S., LMHC, ASAC is a psychotherapist and author of The Zing, available at www.thezing.us, Borders Books, Amazon.com, Book Revue in Huntington, and Runaway Bay Books in Sayville. Ron has a private practice and is available to speak at your next event. Join us for our Chapter Discussion groups. Contact www.ronvillano.com or call 631.758.8290 for more event information.